Burning Memories
by LisaMR
Summary: [BUFFYxDEAN] Illusions are a devils game that blur the black and white lines to gray. Evil is back, but which form will it appear in?
1. Chapter 1

**Rating:** R (for violence, language and sexual situations)

**Fandom:** Supernatural/BtVS Crossover

**Pairing:** Buffy/Dean

**Genre: **Angst/Drama

**Summary**: Illusions are a devils game that blur the black and white lines to gray. Evil is back, but which form will it appear in?

**Spoilers:** All season of BtVS are fair game along with all episodes of SPN up to "Everyone Loves a Clown"

**Disclaimer:** _Supernatural_ and all related characters are copyright The CW Network. No infringement intended. _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and all related characters are copyright Joss Whedon and ME. No infringement intended. "_To make everything right is for God to just reach out and turn off the light!" _is taken from a modern day nursery rhyme by Shel Silverstein, no infringement intended.

**Distribution:** Not without permission from myself.

**AN:** This piece is dedicated to Dani. Happy birthday sweetie and thank you for all the help. This piece NEVER would've gotten finished if it weren't for you and all your help. You are a true friend and I love you lots!

_Tears pooled in her emerald eyes as she raced up the uneven rock stairs toward Sunnydale High's basement. She could feel the heat licking her back, singeing the hem of her tan jacket. She felt asphyxiated, consumed by the flames as the smell brought an unwanted reminder of the evening - of what she had lost._

_The image of Spike's body being surrounded by flames made her want to turn around and drag his stubborn ass out before it was too late, before he was gone. The arrogant blonde vampire had been there when no one else was. No matter how much she pushed him away he always stuck around taking all of her insults, so different from the past men in her life. They had all without fail left her no matter how hard she had tried to please them and she had tried._

_Images flooded her mind and her stomach churned in protest as she recalled the sight of Spike's body slowly being consumed by the amber flames. She could still see the agony etched on the sharp contours of his face while his skin charred to a deep red right before it turned to ash. Buffy had lit vampires on fire before, but that... the look in his clear ice blue eyes would never leave her._

Spike was going to die for her, for the cause she had spent years fighting against and he was going to do it alone. A selfless death, one of a warrior. Tears blurred her vision and caused her to lose her footing on the uneven stone. She stumbled to the ground, her knee taking the brunt of the fall hitting a jagged and sharp corner of the stair. Buffy felt the rock cut through her skin and it was a welcomed pain. It reminded her that she was still alive, that she was still fighting for survival. She looked down to find her jeans torn over the knee and her own scarlet red blood soaking the frayed edges.

_Everything was falling a part in such a chaotic fashion. It had been for months and she had simply fooled herself into believing that she could control it all. Her friends, the people closest to her had all turned their backs on her. Hell, even her sister has lost all faith in her. Everyone except Spike, the least likely one, had pushed her away. But now he was gone, leaving her alone to be suffocated by the non-stop memories of the last two days._

_Vomit rose up her gorge as she crawled up the final two stairs, expelling the meager contents of her stomach next to the seal. __Her skin felt hot and clammy, making her wish silently that Spike were there to cool her down. His chilled skin would be a welcomed relief to more than just her body temperature. Buffy rolled onto her back, taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm her erratic breathing._

'_Creak'_

Her attention snapped toward the seal as it slowly closed, rasping in a series of groaning aches until it finally disappeared. A hot tear rolled down her cheek and she whispered his name while her hand touched the spot where the seal had been moments prior. The ground was still scalding, burning her skin as she let it rest there for a moment. Numbly she flipped her hand over to examine her burned skin on her palm.

Blood shot eyes widened as she gazed at a portion of the seal that had been branded on her flesh. It would be a reminder of this night. Of how the two of them, Spike and her, had worked together and smacked down The First. Buffy had been right about the scythe and yet that didn't dull the ache she felt deep inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Amber liquid filled the scratched shot glass resting on the bar as Dean peered into it with apprehension. Ash had chuckled, running a hand through his light brown mullet, as he muttered 'shit' under his breath when Ellen passed Dean what she called a 'Redneck Killer' across the old chipped wooden bar. Dean hadn't questioned what Ash was getting at, but as the strong smell of alcohol filled his nostrils he wished he had pulled aside the lanky looking man and asked. It was in his instincts not to trust people. His father may have trusted Ellen and her daughter, but Dean didn't and wasn't planning on building a fluffy relationship with either of 'em.

"If I was gonna kill ya' would've done it when you trespassed. Now drink it." Ellen gave him a pointed stare making it clear that it wasn't a request.

Ellen smirked, noting how similar Dean was to his father when she had first met him so many years ago. Her smile disappeared and she wondered what the real story was behind John. Neither of the boys had said much about what had happened or how the demon had caught up to them and it was damn well killing her not to pull one of them aside and force it out of 'em.

Dean raised an eyebrow at her before lifting the glass off the bar. She looked annoyed as her eyes narrowed causing her to look older than she was. "What the hell, came back twice before." He muttered the words under his breath before pouring some of the liquid into his mouth. He felt the burn the moment the amber elixir invaded his mouth. Swallowing quickly, he clenched his jaw. "That's some strong shit."

"Don't let the weak shit in." Ellen passed a beer to another burly looking customer that was hunched over a bowl of peanuts at the far end of the bar.

"Should probably send Sammy back to our room then." He winked at Jo as she passed by and headed toward her mom. Dean tilted his head to the side as he watched the blonde's little ass sway in the form fitting jeans. She wasn't so hard on he eyes and if he wasn't so hell bent on getting trashed tonight he might have considered taking her back to his hotel room.

Dean smirked as Jo beamed at him. Maybe when they got back from this little hunting trip he'd invite her back to his place for a little rough and tumble.

He was pulled away from the blonde as the jukebox made some deep growling noises while it changed to a new track. Dean knew it had to be ancient by the way it took almost two minutes to change albums. He smirked and shook his head; "Pyscho Killer" by Talking Heads came blaring through the poor speakers on the box.

"This your theme song?" Dean asked; his mouth still burning from whatever Ellen had given him.

Ellen let out a deep sigh as Jo once again complained about the company that was currently occupying her back office. She tossed the cloth on the bar with an annoyed look. "Finish wiping down the bar." She turned and looked at Dean. "Quit being a smartass." She walked over to where he sat and bent down. He reeked of booze. "Oh and look at my daughter like that again and they'll never find you body." She smiled sourly at him before she headed through the door by the bar toward her back office to deal with situation.

"Thought it was funny." Dean shrugged nonchalantly before taking another long sip of the liquid, hoping it would dull the constant ache he had since his father whispered in his ear at the hospital. Things in his life were about to be screwed in a way they never had been before and he was caught smack dab in the middle of it.

Sam had been closely watching Dean as he sat hunched over the bar for the last hour. His broad shoulders blocked his view of exactly how many his older brother had slammed back. By the odd sway that Dean was doing every so often he was getting close to being tanked.

He knew it was going to be a rough night when Dean bought a case of beer earlier that evening. After he had drank half the case he had suggested they head to the "Roadhouse" for something a little stronger. Sam had tried to urge his brother to just crash, but he refused. Dean always had enjoyed the bottle when he tried to ignore what was really going on.

Sam brushed away a dark strand of hair off his forehead, he hated that Dean wouldn't just let how he was feeling out. It was time for a chick-flick moment. This was hard on the both of them and Sam needed his older brother to help him through this. He was still reeling from the last exchange he had with his Dad and a part of him needed some sort of forgiveness, even if it came from Dean.

Standing up, he grabbed Dad's leather-bound journal and headed over to Dean. He pulled up a wooden stool next to his brother, forcing out a relaxed smile. "Dude, we should get a few hours of sleep. Have a long drive tomorrow." Sam flashed his watch in front of his brother's red-rimmed eyes.

Sam still wasn't sure why Ellen didn't want them leave tonight. She hadn't given them anything more than they should stay the night, and if he hadn't been watching so closely he would've missed the way Jo had rolled her dark eyes in annoyance and muttered 'typical' under her breath. Ellen had shot her a pointed look and Jo had simply raised her hands in defeat before she went back to stocking the shelf.

Dean took another sip before turning his gaze at his brother. "Man, this is some good shit." He smiled broadly. "Nah, I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer, have another round… maybe shoot some darts. Man, 'member that time I shot you in the ass with a dart?" He slapped his brother back, making a loud 'thwack' while he laughed. "Shit, you were mad Sammy."

Sam couldn't help but chuckle while he shook his head. "It hurt like a bitch!" He tried to defend himself and how he reacted. After he had pulled the pointed object out of his ass he had turned and slugged Dean before heading back to the room. For the next week he did nothing but complain about how sore his ass was.

Dean continued to laugh at his brother while he started to drum his hands against the wooden bar to the beat of the song but was interrupted by Ellen's raised voice, "I didn't ask you to come here!"

"No, I just showed up and saved your ass!" Buffy strode into the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels off the shelf and flipped a shooter in the air. "Do I look like a babysitter to you?" She shot back over her shoulder.

The blonde poured the dark amber liquid into a shot glass and sucked it back and refilled it. She chewed on her lower lip as she looked up at Ellen who was apparently trying to kill her with a death stare.

"When I came, I told you I work alone. No partners. No Jo tagging along for a little joy ride. Alone, which means the two guys at the bar aren't coming with." Buffy turned, her emerald eyes darker than normal letting others know she was pissed. She smiled sickly-sweet at the two brothers before she headed out the front doors of the "Roadhouse" slamming them behind her.

"She'll be going with you two. She'll be pissed about it, but she'll go." Ellen filled up the empty shot glass that the blonde had left behind and slammed back a shooter.

With her tanned arms folded over her chest in a defensive position, Buffy leaned against the rusted blue van that was parked behind the bar. The wind whipped around the parking lot causing small dust tornados to dance around; natures own ballet. She was slowly getting used to the odd weather in the mid-western America. The first few months of being away from the warm embrace of sunny California caused her to layer up to fight off the cold wind.

She kicked a rock with her boot-encased foot and watched as it bounced against the ground until it hit the back wheel of the van making a faint 'thump' sound. Dean and Sam didn't look like the type of guys that drove the American Soccer Mom vehicle but then she didn't know anything about them. They were hunters and somehow ended up at the "Roadhouse" they weren't regulars because when Ellen had first mentioned that she wanted Buffy to go with; Jo had been more than usual hostile toward her. Jo must have a crush on the newest boys to stumble their way to the beat-up wood framed bar. She had often wondered what drew hunters to the bar originally. Ellen had never gone much into the specifics of how the place came to be such a local hangout. Ellen wasn't into giving much history lessons when it came to her life and normally she was good at not prying into others until last night.

She resented being sent on a mission like she was back in Sunnydale with her Watcher and friends dictating her every move. She had left that life behind her over a year ago and wasn't keen on falling back into the same pattern. Her new and improved system consisted of Ellen informing her about the newest nasties that needed to be snuffed out. She chose which jobs she wanted to take and left the scraps to whichever group of hunters where at the "Roadhouse" waiting for a new hunt to come their way.

Buffy pulled out her Gucci sunglasses from her black leather satchel and placed them on her face, an attempt to block the bright morning sun. She really shouldn't have had those last few shots the night before.

Gods, how long did it take them to hit the road? An impatient growl sounded from the back of her throat as she glanced down at her watch, she was itching to kill something.

After she had left the bar last night, annoyed and pissed off that she was being ordered about again, Ellen had barged into her sparse room and demanded that she go with Dean and Sam. Buffy had continued to refuse, reminding Ellen (not for the first time) that she wasn't looking for sidekicks. Buffy's waving hands and heated arguments had all stopped short as soon as the older woman had pulled out the big guns - the 'Aunt' card. Buffy still cringed at the warning. Ellen had promised that she would call up Dawn and let her know that she could rest easy; the prodigal Buffy hadn't been killed. Buffy had been on a nice long year round road trip to clear her head and had stumbled cross 'Aunt Ellen's' place a few months back and decided to stay and help out.

"I've been nothing but good to you and I understand the need to get away, hell I'd have done the same damn thing, but these boys are gonna need ya!" Ellen's voice boomed throughout the small room. She wasn't about to let Buffy off the hook on this one.

Buffy rolled her eyes, not flinching at the tone that came from her Aunt. "I don't care, that's the difference." She pulled open the small dress drawer; grabbing her sweaters she shoved them in her bag that was perched on the single bed. "Besides what makes these two any different from all the other hunters that pass through your doors, huh?"

"None of your damn business and since when do you care to hear the stories that come through those doors!" Ellen pointed toward the bar. "You've made it damn clear you don't care to get fuzzy feelings for anyone or anything." Frowning she finally noticed the bag on the bed that was being stuffed with Buffy's belongings. "Just what the hell are you doing?"

"Trying to escape the looney show that is you! You can't make me help them. They've managed not to get themselves killed so far, better track record than I have." She zipped up the bag and looked at her aunt. "Call me if you need some help with any actual slaying."

Ellen blocked the blonde's path and locked the door. "You will help 'em or I'll call your sister, let her know you're okay. I don't want to, but I will if you don't do this for me! One favor is all I'm askin' from ya."

The threat had pissed her off more than she let on and only after her Aunt had left the room did she kick the bed causing the frame to snap in two. She had regretted her decision later that night when the box spring kept her up all night; her entire body sore from her sleep or lack thereof.

Now she had to be crammed in the piece of junk she was resting against for hours while being stuck with people she didn't know nor care to know.

Life hated her with a vengeance that probably would've made Anya proud.

While she had been downing her fourth cup of coffee, which had caused her to be jittery and pee every ten minutes, Ellen had tossed her the job file. The file had skidded along the bar before it hit her coffee mug causing some of the dark liquid to spill on her hand. The file tab had read 'Possessed Clowns'; wonderful, she was hunting a Steven King character.

The loud 'bang' of the back door of the "Roadhouse" being shut caught her attention. She turned and watched as the two brothers sauntered toward her.

"Well, look who decided to grace us with her presence. Guess Ellen doesn't take no for an answer." Dean smirked and eyed the blonde that looked sexy as hell in her worn jeans with a fitted vintage 'Blondie' concert t-shirt. He had tried to remember what she looked like but he'd been too far-gone last night to remember much of anything

The sun hit her golden sun-kissed blonde hair causing a halo-type affect the framed her delicate face. He walked past her and her emerald eyes sparked with anger as he nudged her aside to open the drivers' side door.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she pushed off the van, brushing any dust off her clothing. "I've been waiting for twenty minutes for you two."

Taking pause, Buffy examined the older Winchester brother from under the shaded lenses of her glasses. He was tall, much taller than her, though that didn't take much since she was so short. In an unconscious move she licked her full lower lip, appreciatively she watched his muscles move under his t-shirt when he tossed his bag into the van. Buffy heard it land with a thud, but the exact location wasn't viewable as his broad masculine shoulders blocked her view. His jaw was covered with a fine dust that gleamed in the too bright morning sun and his murky green eyes were full of attitude. Definitely drool-worthy.

"See something you like, princess?" Dean grinned arrogantly at her as he climbed into the van.

"Nah, just realizing that I shouldn't be so hard on your sleeping habits. You could use the beauty sleep, princess." Buffy sneered out 'princess' with as much distain as she could muster. She didn't care for anymore-cute nicknames. They tended to pull all of her thoughts back to what she was trying to escape.

His laughter rung through the cozy space of the van, and Buffy didn't need to see him to imagine how his stomach muscles would flex with his mirth. "Sweetheart it's easier if you just accept it. I'm the best lookin' thing you've seen in a long time." He winked and closed the door.

Buffy was about to lift her bag but remembered that neither of them knew she was The Slayer and she rather it stayed that way. She chewed on her lower lip feigning weakness before she lifted it up. She let out a soft groan that insinuated it had taken all of her effort to lift it and made her way slowly around the beat-up van. Buffy felt two pairs of eyes on her as she slid the side van door open.

She placed her long canvas bag on the floor next the bench seat in the back. Her scythe and weapons took up most of the room in her bag, leaving just enough space for her clothing and toiletries. It still bugged her that her wardrobe had been downsized after leaving Sunnydale. She didn't have enough money or room to house her lavish shopping habits. She crawled into the van blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes before she sat down. She placed her satchel next to her and sent a scowl toward Dean.

Curiously, Sam had watched the interaction between his brother and the blonde. Normally his older brother would've tried hitting on a girl as attractive as her, but instead he had thrown an insult. Interesting. Sam twisted his long upper body around and smiled at the blonde.

"Hi, I'm Sam." He held out his hand, an offer of peace toward the blonde.

As her hand moved to meet his her fingers skimmed over her palm and the burn that marked her tender flesh. There would be no way she could explain the symbol that was obviously not caused by grabbing a hot pan. Quickly she stuck her hand back in her lap and gave him a tight-lipped smile. Bitch.

A frown passed over Sam's features. "Ah… wish I could say my brother has better manners than that but…" his voice trailed off letting silence hang in the humid van.

"Sammy quit trying to play nice." Dean reached up with his large hand and angled the rear-view mirror toward the girl. "Ellen wants us to watch after her, not become BFF's."

Dean started the engine, cringing as the motor coughed to life. Oh how he missed the powerful purr that his baby used to make. He'd blare a mix of AC/DC, his window rolled down while he drummed against the side of his car. No matter how hard he pushed her she'd never give up the chase. She was like thoroughbred horse getting the chance to stretch her legs in the open plain. He winced as the engine made a whining noise from lack of proper maintenance. He backed up the hunk of metal and noticed the look of frustration that passed over Buffy's features as he mentioned Ellen's name. Ellen had never asked them to watch out for her but he couldn't help to make the comment that she had. The girl was prickly; he smiled and guided the van onto the highway.


	3. Chapter 3

"I dunno Sammy!" He snarled out the words with annoyance as they passed yet another run-down barn. It seemed like every ten minutes they would drive past another barn that was almost falling over as they drove along the empty highway.

For three miles Dean had been forced to listen to his younger brother's theories on what Ellen's reasoning was for wanting Buffy to come with them. It was two and a half miles back that he'd lost his patience for the whole conversation; now he was trying to not duct tape Sam's mouth shut.

"Don't much care. We've got a job to take care of, and from where I'm sittin' the princess doesn't affect that."

"But Dean," Sam whined out the words and watched as his brother cringed at his tone, "she had to have a reason." Sam let out a deep, frustrated sigh as he continued to sort through the file on the mysterious clown. Long chocolate hair fell forward to cover his eyes; Sam quickly ran a hand through it, pushing the offensive tresses out of his vision.

"Who forces someone to go on a hunt, well, except Dad that is?" Sam continued his rant offhandedly, not really thinking about what he was saying until it was too late. He cringed, lifting his head from the folder to chance a glance at Dean who had immediately tensed up beside him at the mention of their father.

His shadowed jaw was cleaned in annoyance and Sam watched as Dean gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. His head snapped to the side, eyes darkening to lose the mud-green hue they normally possessed.

"Shit," Sam muttered, "Dean… I'm sorry."

"Don't Sammy." Dean reached forward, irritably turning up the volume to blare some old school Lynard Skynard through the worn out speakers.

Sam waited until Dean's attention was back on the road before he casually lifted an arm and turned the volume back down, earning a scowl from his brother. "I didn't mean that Dad… that he did it wrong. He did what he thought was best, I get that now."

Dean nodded his head, eyes flashing into the rear-view mirror to insure that Buffy was still asleep. Her head rested against the back of the bench seat, her blonde hair cascading around her face. When sleeping she didn't look like such a pain in the ass. His eyes grazed over her face, stopping at her lips. A sheer pink gloss covered them and he felt him twitch at the thought of what he'd like that mouth to.

"Dean?" Sam's voice held a silent please for forgiveness; he turned and looked at his brother. His dark eyes met Dean's for a moment before Dean turned away.

"Fine Sammy." Dean grinned, punching his brother playfully in the arm.

Sam wanted to reply with 'bullshit' but knew that wouldn't get him anywhere. He rubbed the spot his brother had hit, twin dimples flashing as he gave Dean half a smile, "Real mature dude." The brunette turned his head, glancing at the slumbering blonde again. "What do you think her story is?"

Dean shrugged his broad shoulders. "Hell if I know. Probably watched too many episodes of Wonder Woman as a kid and thinks she gonna save the world." Having been cramped in the van for far too long, he stretched his aching arms until his back popped. He snuck another glance at her, she was hot and her playing hard to get was driving him insane. He wasn't use to not being able to read a hot piece of ass and it was pissing him off that he could read her "Why'd we agree to let her tag along again?"

Sam laughed, sagging his shoulders against the seat as he rested his head against the headrest. The van was no Impala and his knees where pressed painful against the dash. He waited a beat and turned toward his brother. "Ash promised to hook us up with something that could track down the demon that killed Mom and Jess."

"Yeah… right." Dean wasn't sure that Ash would be able to follow through on his promise. The guy looked like he was stuck in a rock concert. "We'll see what the guy can do. Have to tell ya though Sammy feeling like we got the short end of this stick. Sleeping beauty back there doesn't look like she could even pin you," Dean smirked, "and you fight like a girl."

From the back seat, Buffy bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from shooting out a sarcastic retort. Shortly after they had hit the highway she had started to scheme a way to find out who these two were. Her Aunt had been far too desperate and forceful about her going on this hunt for the brothers to mean nothing to her. She figured if she pretended to sleep through some of the ride she'd find out something about the two. She'd just hit the jackpot.

So, they were after a demon, that didn't really narrow it down, but it did help. She tried to remember if Ellen ever mentioned anything but nothing was coming to mind. Tonight, after they were asleep, she'd go through their stuff and see what else she could find out. Ellen may have ordered her on this trip, but she hadn't said anything about being on her best behavior.

Sam gently shook Buffy's leg in an attempt to coax her out of her slumber. "Buffy, wake up."

Buffy counted to five before she let out a soft moan, slowly squint her eyes open before closing them again. "If this is your way of coping a feel I think you've missed the point." Her voice dipped low, making it husky and deep with sleep.

A slight blush colored his cheeks, "Ah… was just trying to wake you."

Buffy opened her eyes fully. "Oh… wrong brother." She smiled softly at him before she crawled out of the stuffy van and into the bright afternoon sun.

The air was fresh and felt good against her face. The warm sun beat down on her face causing a small shiver to race down her spine as it enveloped her into its warmth. It felt like California sun, strong and warm. She took a deep breath before she lifted her arms above her head, exposing her taut stomach. Without having to look she could feel Dean's predatory eyes on her.

Buffy lowered her eyes, walking past him with an exaggerated sway to her hips, "Quite drooling Dean, it's unattractive." Fully pale lips curved into a smile, as Sam's laughter trailed behind her.

Buffy had tried not to enjoy either of them but Sam with his boyish charms had a way of worming his way in. After they had stopped to fill up with gas and get some chips and pop Sam had offered to drive. Kicking Dean into the back, Buffy had moved both her bags up front with her, not trusting Dean not to snoop.

At first her questions had been a way to try and find out more information about what Dean and him were hunting but it hadn't taken long for her to become genuinely interested.

"A lawyer? Gods, I hate most lawyers I meet." Buffy sipped her soda as she remembered heading to Los Angeles shortly after leaving Sunnydale. She had needed to disappear, which meant that she had to find a way to prevent Willow from using her powers to track her down. The plan had been to go to Angel's and ask for his help.

It wasn't until after she'd arrived that she remembered it was Angel and known he'd have to tell the gang when they came by. He still held a notion that she was the same young girl that needed protecting from the world. She had been just about to head out when she came across Lindsey McDonald, a sandy blonde hottie with a southern drawl. He'd recognized her immediately.

Buffy tucked a strand of hair behind her ears as she eyed the gorgeous looking man in front of her. "How do you know who I am?"

"Use to work for Wolfram & Hart. Same place your ex is now operating, I'm sure he told you all about me darlin'. Lindsey McDonald."

She watched as he smiled at her and wished again that Angel and her had kept in touch. She barely knew anything about his life, only what she could scrape together when she went to 'lurk' in his town. "May have said something."

Buffy stiffened as she listened to him laugh, his accent sending shivers down her spine before it pooled to cause a warm tingle in the pit of her stomach.

"Darlin" He purred, "If Angel shared anything about Wolfram & Hart you'd already have me pinned down asking why you shouldn't kill me."

"Angel's word isn't stone." Buffy responded. Of course the fact was if Angel had told her that this guy in front of her was Satan's spawn she probably would have believed him. Yet for some strange reason she didn't feel the urge to attack or run. Instead she couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to just get lost in a moment with this stranger.

Again, she watched as his lips curved into a smile.

"If you're looking for the law firm I can show you. It's Just a few blocks from here."

Buffy shook her head. "He can't help." She swallowed and caste her eyes downward, ashamed of that fact. There was a time when Angel could've stopped the sun from rising in her eye and now she was fearful of him seeing her.

"Now you've got my interest darlin'. What can Angel possibly not help you with? He's practically got all the powers working for him."

Buffy bit her lower lip before she opened her mouth. "I need to disappear and unless you're the next David Blaine or Houdini I'm not sure you can help."

"Sweetheart, just because I'm not levitating doesn't mean I don't have magic."

Buffy couldn't help but blush and wonder what kind of magic he would work on her.

"Buffy?" Sam snapped his fingers in front of her vision.

She blinked as Sam's voice pulled her away from the memory. "Umm… sorry." Buffy smiled apologetically at the tall brunette who grinned in return. She couldn't help but associate his smile with that of a child's.

"Didn't realize my college life was boring you."

"Jesus Sammy, that story would've bored anyone." Dean leaned forward, his this muscular shoulders filling the gap between the two.

With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Buffy turned and shoved Dean back into his seat. "Are you always this annoying?"

"Hate to tell you this, but this is his less annoying side." Sam grinned widely as his brother flipped him off. "Hey, she's gonna figure it out on her own."

"Oh please! Princess up there couldn't find her way out of a box." Dean leaned back and brought his arms behind his head. "She'll be perfect for bait." He smirked.

Buffy sat on the lumpy mattress and pouted; it would be another restless sleep. Tucking her jean-covered legs under her, she curled against the old chipped wooden headboard. She flicked through the channels before finally stopping on the colorful animated series, "The Simpsons."

Xander, her one-time best friend, had loved this show and would often force Willow and her to watch re-runs with him. She smiled at the memory for a moment relishing in what was before the harsh reality of the past slapped her in the face causing a frown to mar her perfectly shaped brows.

It had been a long time since she'd given much thought to what she had left behind. Ever since her aunt had blackmailed her into hunting with the Winchesters, past memories were surfacing. It was just another reason why, as soon as she was finished with the two brothers, she would be heading out on her own again. Maybe she wouldn't even hit the Roadhouse before leaving. What was the point if Ellen was just going to send her on more missions?

She fled at the first sign of someone trying to coerce her into being their pawn. How many times had she'd stayed in a town, after exterminating a problem, only to have the townspeople begin to think they owned her? Too many times.

There had only been one person she'd stumbled across that could ask her to do something that didn't cause her to pack her bags in furious anger. One person in her whole life that hadn't treated her as a pawn in their sick game of life-chess and she didn't know where he was. They'd been together for over two months while, with no luck they tracked a nasty demon. He'd left one day leaving nothing but a note. It was just her luck, which happened to be no luck at all.

Buffy looked up at the door as someone quietly knocked. Standing up, she walked over to the pale off-white door and swung it open. Sam stood tall with a full smile plastered on his boyish features. "Hey."

"Dean and I are gonna head to the local bar, grab some drinks and food; see what the locals can tell us. You in?" Dean had argued that the blonde wouldn't be interested in coming and that it would be fruitless to even ask. Sam disagreed. There was a reason Ellen wanted the petite green-eyed blonde to come and he wouldn't relent until he knew that reason.

Buffy eyed him suspiciously. She had wanted to go on a little patrol alone, she couldn't do that if she was having a round with Sam and his ever-annoying older brother. Chewing on her lower lip she tried to come up with an excuse, but came up blank. "You know, I think I'll just stay here. Thanks though."

Sam tried not to look too disappointed and nodded his head before turning toward his brother who was smirking proudly.

"Told ya Sammy." He wrapped his strong arm around his brother pulling him into a friendly hug. "Let big bro buy you a drink."

Buffy watched the pair and, for a few short moments, missed having someone close. Her partner was the only one she had been close to after the Sunnydale incident. Despite his rough edges, she missed his companionship. Since he left, all of her non-Slaying activities were associated with tracking him down. She knew it wouldn't be easy to find him, but she refused to give up.


	4. Chapter 4

The night hadn't been productive, which caused her frustration. No one in the police department seemed to know much about the case of the clown. She'd hit the morgue to see if she could get anything but their families had already picked up the bodies. Her last stop had been the crime scene. The place was clean with no signs of a demon being summoned; she hated dead ends almost as much as she hated being ordered around.

Standing in front of a seedy bar that made the Roudhouse look like a palace, she weighed her options. Going inside would require possible pleasantries with Dean, and she so wasn't in the mood to deal with his arrogant bullshit. On the other hand, if Sam had uncovered some pieces of the puzzle she wanted in on it. With a resigned sigh, she pushed open the rotted wooden door and entered.

The smell of stale smoke, spilt beer and sweat invaded her nostrils causing her to crinkle her nose in protest. The layout was much the same as the Roadhouse, and she turned heading toward the large bar. Her green eyes scanned the patrons trying to find the two brothers. Spotting a tall mop of brown hair, she silently thanked Sam for his height as she made her way over.

Sam smirked as he watched the blonde walk through the crowd with graceful ease and nudged his brother who was slamming back a shot of Jack. "Dude, looks like you owe me fifty."

Dean looked up and shook his head. "I'll be damned. Princess decided to slum it with us." His voice carried and he couldn't help smirking as the blonde shot him an angry scowl.

Buffy ignored Dean's comment and focused her gaze on Sam. "Hey."

"You came." Smiling brightly at her, he offered her his wooden bar stool

"Yeah." Taking the proffered stool, she nodded to the bartender. "Scotch on the rocks with a dash of white rum."

Dean watched with a shocked expression as the blonde stuck her delicate finger in the amber liquid and stirred the ice causing it to 'clink' against the glass. Chuckling nervously he nodded toward Buffy. "That's an interesting drink you've got there."

Her pink glossy lips closed around her finger and he could practically see her tongue lapping up the liquid. Inwardly groaning, he shifted in his seat and attempted to alleviate the tightness in his crotch. Just because he thought the blonde was a bitch didn't mean that he didn't want to do her up against the wall or, hell, on top of the bar.

"Picked it up on the way." Buffy lifted the scratched glass and took a sip. The liquid burned her mouth and then throat as she swallowed. Wincing slightly, she remembered the first time that she had the drink.

Buffy and alcohol were very un-mixy. Memories of being cave-Buffy were still a reoccurring theme whenever she picked up a glass of alcohol, but she had been angry that night. The two had been hunting together for a few weeks when they had stumbled across a small vampire nest. Things would've been fine if one of them hadn't smelled Spike on her. Apparently, the vamp was sired by her platinum blonde, Billy Idol, dead, ex-lover, good-friend Spike. She'd ended up taking a nasty beating before she snapped out of it and dusted the nest. Her partner had been kind enough to order her usual rum and coke - easy on the rum. With her night being so shitty, she decided against her usual and grabbed his drink slamming it back before he could argue. After that, her usual became his usual.

"On the way where, princess? That isn't the foofy shit sorority girls drink." Dean winked at her.

"Good thing I'm not part of a sorority then. There a reason you've got a sudden interest in my drink choice?" Buffy tossed her golden locks over her shoulder while she stared at Dean, defiance in her eyes.

Dean clicked his tongue while he shook his head. "Sweetheart we've got an early morning and you're bullshitting yourself if you think Sammy or I is gonna have any sympathy for your hangover tomorrow." Grabbing his beer he disappeared through the crowd.

Buffy arched an eyebrow at the guy left standing. "Nice brother you've got there." She watched carefully as Sam pulled up the stool Dean just vacated next to her.

"Yeah." Sam took a long pull of his beer. His brother hadn't been the same since the death of their father. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to say. "Bad week."

"Oh." Buffy turned and made sure Dean wasn't skulking behind them, a habit that she got from Angel's constant lurking. "Here I thought it was about your Dad."

She watched as Sam tightened his grip on his beer. "So, it is more than a week of badness."

"How'd you…"

"It wasn't Ellen. The woman is unbreakable." Her frustrated sigh was loud enough that she was sure Sam heard it. Biting her lower lip, she decided what angle to work, either tell him that she had over-heard their conversation about their father or give a little insight into her. Not being too keen on having Sam alert Dean that there was perhaps more to her then she let on she resigned herself to sharing. "It's just…" Buffy placed a schooled look of sadness on her face, she wasn't ready to let him see how much she really knew about what he was going through. "Well you can always pick out the ones that lost someone close. Mostly because you've seen the same sad and pathetic expression in the mirror."

Smirking sadly he nodded his head as she slammed her drink back. "Yeah, guess so."

Silence hung between them as George Strait's "Amarilo" drifted through the bar. Sounds of laughter and yelling laced through the words almost drowning out the lyrics.

"How long have you known Ellen?" He laughed and shook his head. "Sorry, awkward silence was getting to me."

Buffy gave him a polite smile. "She's my aunt so pretty much my whole life." Slight lie since, for the majority of her life, she'd barely had any contact with the bar owner. Sam didn't need to know Hank, her father, had disowned Ellen when she had married the 'hoodlum' against his wished.

Sam choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering as he tried to clear his air passage. "Aunt?" He managed to squeak the word out and his eyes danced with mirth as Buffy nodded. "That how she forced you to tag along?"

"Pretty much. She's a frightening woman when she's armed." Of course, that wasn't the reason she had come, but again Sam was on a need to know bases.

"Man, you should see Dean cower when Ellen comes after us." He eyed the blonde, a nagging whisper in his mind. "So you've lived there your whole life?"

Shrugging, she tapped her glass on the bar and nodded when the bartender looked at her, signifying she wanted another drink. "Yeah, why?" Green eyes narrowed as she waited for his response.

"You just look familiar, like I've seen you before."

"Nope, must be someone else. You know what they say, everyone's got a twin."

His dark locks fell into his eyes as he nodded his agreement. Sam's brown eyes sought out his brother's solid frame in the crowd and winced as he finally spotted Dean over by the pool table as he shoved a guy. "Damnit Dean!"

Hearing the commotion over the country tune that drifted through the place, Buffy turned her attention to the fight. She rolled her eyes as Dean punched a burly looking man. "He always this scrappy?"

"Just since..." His voice trailed off and he looked down at his shoes.

Her lips formed an 'o' and she nodded her head. "Hope he's got a weapon on him because the pissed off mountain man is about to pull a knife." Buffy threw down a few bills to cover her drink before she stood, sauntering out of the bar.

"Can I state for the record that I hate clowns!" Buffy dusted off her jeans and moaned when she saw a new hole that hadn't been there before. Great, she thought, this was the third pair this month. They hadn't managed to kill the demon-clown before it vanished leaving just a small puff of smoke. "What's with the constant smiling? It's all creepy and wrong! Clowns are wrong!" Shuddering she sauntered back toward the beat-up van that sat in the empty parking lot.

"Sammy, looks like goldilocks over here shares your fear." Slapping his brothers back he grinned widely at the blonde. "You scared of the boogeyman too?" He watched her roll her mossy green eyes at him as he tossed the keys to his brother.. "Dude, I'm done driving this piece of shit."

"Oh… poor Dean you compensate with your car?" Buffy glanced blatantly at his crotched before brushing passed him. She left him sputtering as she climbed into the passenger side of the van.

It was hard not using her full Slayer strength when she fought, but she hadn't been able to lose the brothers on a hunt. The two seemed to need to protect her. If they knew she could kick ass, they wouldn't worry about her. Still, she didn't want to give away her secrets just yet..

"Sweetheart, you want to take a joy ride all you've got to do is ask!" His voice boomed through the empty park grounds. Letting out a frustrated growl he hopped into the van. The blonde wasn't much of a fighter but watching her lithe body bend and move definitely brought on some thoughts that he was sure would make the blonde flip him off or punch him.

Dean leaned against the old dented vending machine that was perched alongside the open sidewalk that faced the parking lot. His black scuffed up boot tapped against the rotten wood planks making a 'thump' noise to match the faint beat that was coming from the bar down the road.

Sam was holed up in their room trying to research the carnival. Dean lasted forty-five minutes before he busted out of the room for fresh air. His brother was throwing himself too heavy into the case, like he was trying to prove some fucking point. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath.

"There you are."

Keeping his eyes closed he smirked that arrogant grin he knew pissed her off. "Miss me already princess?" Slowly he opened his eyelids as he cast a sideway glance at her. He twisted the cap off his coke and took a long pull, letting the fizz tickle his nose.

"I thought you were holed up in your room trying to get some beauty sleep." Dark eyebrow rose as she smiled too sweetly at him and sauntered closer. Dark green eyes trailed down her lithe body as he got lost in the way her hips swayed as she walked.

"Yeah." Pausing she licked her lips that were painted with a blood red gloss. "Couldn't sleep."

He swallowed as her lips pouted and he clenched his drink.

"That fight got me all… tight." Buffy smirked as she leaned against the wood pillar opposite of Dean. The cool wind blew her blonde tresses across her face. She frowned before tucking the obnoxious strands behind her ear.

Dean starred at her with interest. If she hadn't been such a bitch since he met her he would've guessed she was flirting with him. Either way he was interested.

"Was gonna go hit the bar. Have a few drinks… you in?" Her moss green eyes questioned him.

A few moments passed before he shrugged. "If you're buying, I suppose I can risk being seen with an uptight bitch like yourself." Laughing he lifted his arms slightly. "After you."

"You're a real ass Dean." Buffy rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs her boots crunching the gravel as she crossed the dark parking lot.


End file.
